dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
