When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
