hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize