i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
