the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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