So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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