dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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