Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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