I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
