My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He better not be in your backpack
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
