Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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