can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
