I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize