Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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