You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize