bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
