What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
