Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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