so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She bit a glass in half.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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