If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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