He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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