just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Randomize
