Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
