I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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