Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
