its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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