3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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