I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
