it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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