It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
this hospital has no fireball
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize