some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
