how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
