spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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