And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
