yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
