Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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