What did we do last night that was yellow?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
