I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
