We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
whose parrot is this?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
