I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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