The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
