omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
