Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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