hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
