I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
