just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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