I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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