We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
