why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
There's even glitter on my cock...
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