He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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