chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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