I just threw up on my dentist
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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