She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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