is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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