So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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