a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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