He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize