I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
