What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
